So, you love an addict. You think you can change them. You whole heartedly believe that your "love" will make them want to change.
Let me tell you why ~
1. Their addiction will ALWAYS come first. Whatever they do, including trying to behave for you, revolves around their addition. They will "act" like they're ok to throw you off about what is really going on. Listen to me - IT IS AN ACT. It is one that they have repeated throughout their lives to get what they want - their fix (alcohol, drugs, etc).
Once again, it is an act. Unless they check themselves into rehab, they're NOT trying to get better and they don't want to get better.
2. They will lie, cheat and steal from you EVERY TIME. When you begin to think they're getting better and let your guard down, they will lie, cheat and steal from YOU - the person who is trying to help them.
I want you to think about that. You are trying to help them and they are bascially flipping you off and laughing at you while they F**K you over.
They know, because you are a good person (which you have repeatedly pointed out to them) that you probably won't just walk away.
What should you do then?
WALK AWAY.....no better yet, sprint away.
Here is what is going to happen if you don't:
~ Your friends and family will get sick of it. They've tried to tell you whats happening but you continually make EXCUSES for the addict. If you're lucky, when all is said and done, you'll still have a few people standing by you. Some aren't that lucky - the addict tries to drive everyone else in your life away.
Don't let them.
~ The addict will literally drain you - emotionally, physically, financially and spiritually. You will eventually just be too tired to fight it.
Is that truly how you want to live? Do you want to spend the rest of your life parked in that particular rut?
I don't - life is too short as it is.
So, what can you do?
First, you have to be done with it. YOU have to be done with it - not your friends or family - YOU.
It's going to be difficult to end it because you're going to feel guilty (there's that damn word again). It's going to hurt, you're going to be sad but you have to remove yourself from the addict. Period. You need to save yourself - they're not going to.
If they decide to go get help, good. Make them prove it - make them show you that they intend to work on it. But don't let them back into your life until they follow through. They'll make all kinds of promises (because thats just what they do). Actions speak louder than words.
You also need help. Go see a counselor, talk to your pastor, read a few books. One of my favorites is "Co-dependent No More" (http://www.amazon.com/Codependent-No-More-Controlling-Yourself/dp/0894864025/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1454945465&sr=8-1&keywords=codependent+no+more+by+melody+beattie)
The bottom line is that you are only going to continue to get hurt. You need to step away and take care of YOU.
Peace and Love
So you're looking for a new toy! Let me direct you to the Kindle Fire HD 7.
I absolutely love my Kindle Fire HD7. It is my "go to" electronic device. It travels everywhere with me - I mean EVERYWHERE. I take it in the car to listen to audiobooks, I leave it on my night stand so I can pick it up to check my blog quickly or look up things on Pinterest, I bring it to work with me so I can read on my breaks. I have downloaded textbooks for my courses, games for when I'm bored (ha.ha.ha.) and use it just like I would a tablet or IPad.
With a Kindle Fire you can surf the web, manage social media, download apps and download books.
The selling points for me with the Fire were:
This was a biggy. I think I spent around $100 when I purchased mine. They've now gone down quite a bit in price.
I have purchased tablets in the past and I have to say that the Kindle is a much better product than a generic brand tablet for the cost.
2. Ease of Use
I literally took it out of the box and started using it. Set-up was EASY. I didn't want something that I had to fiddle with because I'm am the least techy person I know.
The only real issue I've had with it, was one time (in 2 years) it froze. I simply had to reset it. That was it and it's never done it again.
Even my 6 year old grandson can use a Kindle without it being complicated for him.
3. Online Account Management
I can manage my devices on Amazon.com. We are a family of Kindle users. To be perfectly honest, we have about 5 of them (I said I love them!). I am able to manage each device and it's content without having the device in my hand. This was an extremely important selling point for me since I have younger kids.
I can go into their device, see what they've download and delete whatever I want. It's genius!
I also discovered Kindle Unlimited which allows you to download certain books (an unlimted number of books) for $9.99 per month. This was a much more economical solution for us given the number of Kindle's we have.
I don't think you'll be disappointed in your purchase. We absolutely love our Kindle's.
For the best deals, head on over to www.amazon.com.