Peace & Love!!
 
We walked into the Halloween party a little late because I wanted to see my grand babies costumes and get some pictures with them.  They were adorable and I am so thankful I didn't miss seeing them.

I had debated all day about dressing up and finally went to the store, pawed through the remaining costumes, found something acceptable and went home and "doctored" it up.

I saw the sneer on your face when we came in the room.  It was a sexy costume - not a dowdy grandmothers costume.  I was showing some leg and my shoulders BUT I was appropriately covered.  And it was an adult party Halloween for the love of God.   The sneer became whispers and even a snide comment was directed my way.

Just so you know, my costume was for me and my significant other.  We intended to have fun that night.  I'm sorry if it bothered you.  Without knowing you, my assumption is that you were jealous.    But know, without question, my intention in putting on that costume was never to make anyone feel bad.

Here are some things I'd like you to know about me though:

If you had taken the time to introduce yourself and had a conversation with me, you would have found out that I am a lovely person, a "people" collector if you will.  I pride myself on having friends of all ages from every walk of life.  I love meeting new people and finding kindred spirits.  I want to hear about your kids, your garden and your dog.

You would have found out that I'm a single mother with all the stretch marks, c-section scars, droopy boobs, wrinkles and gray hairs that go with it.  I also am a grandmother.  I would have told you that I work full time and am taking 12 credit hours at a local college this semester.  I maintain a home for myself and my children - by myself.  That I have the energy and inclination to get dressed up for Halloween is a feat in and of itself.

What probably wouldn't have come up was that when I was a teenager, I was shy and insecure.  I did everything possible to NOT get any attention.  I hated my body.   All the other girls had boobs and curves - me, not so much.  I was a stick.  I had flat, straight hair that I could never do anything with.  I was awkward, uncoordinated and lacking in self esteem.

It all changed when I gave birth to my first child.  Physically, I did a 180 - boobs and curves appeared and even my hair changed.

But most importantly, I now had this little girl who needed a female role model.  I vowed to never once complained about my body.  The extra weight, stretch marks and droopy boobs were and are all reminders of the magnificent lives I brought into this world.  I hope you feel that way about your body.

I think I look pretty good for an almost 50 year old woman.  My body isn't perfect but its MINE.  The only one I'll get.  It houses my soul. I try very hard to take care of it.  And I will dress it how I see fit.

I eat relatively well and, I want to stress this, MINIMALLY work out.  I hate sweating.  I'm not obsessive about it - I'm cognisant of it -  I'm active - I make myself move because I want to be around to see my great grandchildren.

I wish I had been able to hear about your children.  I would have liked to have exchanged phone numbers.  I would have been thrilled to have walked away with a new friend.

It is difficult enough being a woman without us tearing each other down.  We need to find a way to lift each other up.

I walked away from our brief interaction feeling bad.  As though I did something wrong.

I wish nothing but peace, love and happiness for you.  I have been sending healing thoughts your way.

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We all get busy in our lives after high school - with college, work, marriage, children, LIFE.  If you live in the town you grew up in, you occasionally run into people you knew from high school or the people you hung out with. Its great to be able to spend some time reminiscing and catching up.   If you're lucky, there are a few that you've kept in touch with regularly.  The others you may connect with via social media and follow each others lives, commenting on photos and sending birthday wishes every year.  But the sad reality is that these people usually don't make it to our present to any real extent.  They become snippets in our current lives.    But the memories from all those years ago of the good times are still vivid, held close and thought of so very fondly.   Go to a high school football game sometime - the cool, crisp fall air, the roar of the crowd, the teenagers wandering around - you will be transported back in time instantly.  The fun, the laughter, the energy, the friendship - all of it - brought back, just like it was yesterday.

This is especially true when one of those dear people leaves this earth, which happened unexpectedly to my friends and I the other day.  The first one from our group to pass on.  It seems surreal.   I can't tell you the amount of grief we have each all felt from this loss.  Not all of us had been in contact with her.  We had run into her here or there over the years.  She was happy and well - which was wonderful because there had been a time that she was neither of those things.  Everyone was so happy that she had turned her life around - not just for her but for her child as well.  Such a sad loss.

So as we wait to find out wake arrangements, we've circled the wagons, found some common ground again and try to reconnect.  Life is truly too short.  Don't wait to reconnect.  Reach out now before you get "that" call.  Regrets are a horrible thing to live with.

Peace and love my soul sisters. 
 

Soul Sisters Unleashed