I then make them repeat whatever statement they made using "hate" and replace it with "I strongly dislike....broccoli or rain or school or my brother".
After a few times of this, they generally don't ever use the word "hate" around me again.
My daughters were 11 and 7 in September 2001. I felt they were too little to watch the news coverage of the terrorist attacks but they talked about it in school and we talked about it at home. I explained to them that this was an act of "hate". That there was a hate driven attack on people by other people who had never even met.
As they grew up, they began to understand what I meant about "hate". I can tell you that I have personally used the word hate. For example, I hated that my daughter became an addict; I hated that I couldn't help her; I hated what it did to her. There may have even been a point where I thought I hated those she was involved with at the time. I can honestly tell you that I didn't "hate" them - I did however very, very strongly dislike them. They, too, were someones child. Even with my own sorrow about MY own child, I would never want anything bad to happen to someone elses.
Everyone at some point or another in their lives feels what they believe to be "hate" toward something or someone. This past weekend, while watching the news about the attacks in Paris, my 16 year old son came into the room. He stood for a bit quietly watching the broadcast, seeing the horrible images and turned to see me silently crying. I said to him "THIS is hate. Hate is not something every person feels in their heart. The people who did this felt hate". He nodded and hugged me. I think he's beginning to understand.
My heart goes out to the people of Paris and all victims who have been affected by these terriorists. My heart grieves for the families of the lost sons, daughters, mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers.
HOW I wish the world were a different place.
Peace and love to you all.