The same is true for asking for help in return. Somewhere in my mind I must think asking for help makes me less remarkable than I am. ;) Seriously, what else could it be??
Really, there are many times that I want to say no or that I need help. Why don't I speak up for myself?
Well, I've started to and you can too. Here are some tips on how:
1. Just Say No
I know its difficult. But try it. You can do it without sounding mean or nasty. And honestly, do you REALLY want to attend your best friends nieces dance recital?? Someone who truly cares about your well being will understand. Someone who doesn't, will give you a hard time. If that's the case, you might want to reevaluate that particular relationship.
This is going to take some practice and it will get easier with time. I promise.
The important part is to remember that you count. This is YOUR life and you have the right to determine how you spend your time.
2. Set Boundaries
Some people aren't going to accept your "no". Honestly, you dont need to give them a lengthy explaination, make excuses or feel guilty. Don't allow yourself to be bullied or shamed into changing your mind.
3. Stick To Your Boundaries
Stand your ground, be consistent and kind and you will eventually get through to whomever it is that is demanding your (note...YOUR) time. It will be uncomfortable for you at first but stick to your guns.
4. Ask For Help
For whatever reason, we women have trouble asking for help. The majority of us have "wonder woman" syndrome - we can do everything ourselves. Unfortunately, most of the time, that simply isn't possible.
I think the need to do everything stems from the need to feel "needed" and the more I have to do, the more needed I feel. Insanity!
We just need to get over it and ask for help. Start small. You cook dinner - have your family clean up. You wash and dry the laundry - they fold and put it away. You clean the toilet - they clean the sink.
Trust me - it will make you feel better.
5. Accept Help
Asking is a start.
Now you need to let others help if they say they will and, listen closely, do not redo what they've done. It's ok if something isn't done perfectly each and every time.
Peace & love!