Peace & Love!!
 
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So, you love an addict.  You think you can change them.  You whole heartedly believe that your "love" will make them want to change.  

You're wrong.

Let me tell you why ~

1.  Their addiction will ALWAYS come first.  Whatever they do, including trying to behave for you, revolves around their addition.  They will "act" like they're ok to throw you off about what is really going on.  Listen to me - IT IS AN ACT.  It is one that they have repeated throughout their lives to get what they want - their fix (alcohol, drugs, etc).  

Once again, it is an act.  Unless they check themselves into rehab, they're NOT trying to get better and they don't want to get better.  

2.  They will lie, cheat and steal from you EVERY TIME.  When you begin to think they're getting better and let your guard down, they will lie, cheat and steal from YOU - the person who is trying to help them.  

I want you to think about that.  You are trying to help them and they are bascially flipping you off and laughing at you while they F**K you over.   

They know, because you are a good person (which you have repeatedly pointed out to them) that you probably won't just walk away.

What should you do then?  

WALK AWAY.....no better yet, sprint away.
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Here is what is going to happen if you don't:

~ Your friends and family will get sick of it.  They've tried to tell you whats happening but you continually make EXCUSES for the addict.  If you're lucky, when all is said and done, you'll still have a few people standing by you.  Some aren't that lucky - the addict tries to drive everyone else in your life away.  

Don't let them.

~ The addict will literally drain you - emotionally, physically, financially and spiritually.  You will eventually just be too tired to fight it.  

Is that truly how you want to live?  Do you want to spend the rest of your life parked in that particular rut?  

I don't - life is too short as it is.  

So, what can you do?

First, you have to be done with it.  YOU have to be done with it - not your friends or family - YOU.  

It's going to be difficult to end it because you're going to feel guilty (there's that damn word again).  It's going to hurt, you're going to be sad but you have to remove yourself from the addict.  Period.  You need to save yourself - they're not going to.

If they decide to go get help, good.  Make them prove it - make them show you that they intend to work on it.  But don't let them back into your life until they follow through.  They'll make all kinds of promises (because thats just what they do).  Actions speak louder than words.  

You also need help.  Go see a counselor, talk to your pastor, read a few books.  One of my favorites is "Co-dependent No More" (http://www.amazon.com/Codependent-No-More-Controlling-Yourself/dp/0894864025/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1454945465&sr=8-1&keywords=codependent+no+more+by+melody+beattie)



The bottom line is that you are only going to continue to get hurt.  You need to step away and take care of YOU.

Good luck.

Peace and Love
 


Comments

11/10/2016 10:05am

waliiii

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I also agree with you. The love couldn't change a addict and it is the real truth. I have seen many cases in my life regarding this and very each case was it self a failure.

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11/28/2016 3:05pm

There is nothing in loving and addict but the only thing to do with them is to try to fix their lives. It's really hard to change them but it will be a relief if we'll be permitted to. We should not close any doors for them because if God can forgive, we should too. Burning bridges will not resolve anything but it will just add up to our problems. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this.

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I'm addict to writing. I love to write an essays, novels and of course books. This is gonna be a release of my first book. You are welcome!

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05/10/2017 3:52am

Well Said. Good Information. The mentioned stuff was good. Keep posting up with new Articles. Thank you. :D

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05/17/2017 4:28am

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Reply
05/18/2017 10:56am

I'm addictive to music. This is a real heaven on a Earth! What can be better than music?

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